There is a lot being discussed these days about the pressure on students in Indian campuses. I sometimes wonder if we are looking at only one side of the problem.

We have coaching institutes for almost every competitive exam. Maybe we also need some form of coaching or counselling for parents.

I remember my own CAT journey. I had done very well in engineering, won a gold medal and was doing well in my corporate career at Lehman Brothers. When I prepared for CAT, there were lakhs of applicants. You first had to clear the cutoff and make it to the shortlist of a top institute. At SPJIMR, there was another level of selection. Perhaps one in 300-400 applicants who applied for SPJIMR eventually got a seat.

By the time you entered the classroom, you were already among some exceptional people.

My class had around 90 students, including around 19 gold medalists from different universities and streams. There were people from IITs, NITs and BITS, and equally strong students from places like SRCC and St. Stephen’s.

Before Term 1, we had a foundation course covering mathematics, economics and accounting. Everyone had strengths and weaknesses. Engineers were uncomfortable with accounting and others struggled with mathematics. I almost got an F in microeconomics despite being a topper in engineering and doing well at Lehman.

The difference was that I was in my mid-20s. I had enough maturity to understand that this was not another race for ranks. Everyone around me was exceptionally good at something. The goal was to build on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. It is difficult to expect the same maturity from someone who is 18 or 19.

That is where parents have a huge role to play.

Getting into a top college may be the result of years of coaching. But getting in is not the finish line. In many ways, the real battle begins there. The peer group is extremely strong, expectations are high and there will be moments when the child feels they don’t belong. That is when they need their parents the most.

They need someone to say that struggling is okay. That failing is not the end of the world. That they can try again. I was fortunate to have my father. During some of my darkest days, he stood behind me like a rock. Without that support, I don’t know if I would have bounced back.

I am a parent now. My daughter is very different from me and my wife. I remind myself every day that she may make very different choices in life. My job is not to make those choices for her. My job is to support her when she makes them.
Easier said than done.

But I believe this is how we create a better ecosystem for the next generation. The rat race has to end at some point. Maybe it starts with us, the parents.

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PS: All views are personal