My mentor asked me this question some time ago when I was going through a rough patch in my role.

How often do you find yourself in conversations with your manager or leadership, struggling to make sense of their feedback? Nothing may have gone wrong—you might have delivered exactly what was requested—yet the year-end review sounds like this: “You did this, BUT…”

This is often the beginning of an iterative loop that pulls you deeper into confusion. At least, that’s how it was for me.

I took this “BUT…” very seriously and began obsessing over what I could have done differently to eliminate these “BUTs.” I worked harder, pushed myself more, and sometimes went above and beyond—without any clarity on what was actually expected. Things got so bad that I became self-obsessed, trying to fix the situation. Yet no matter what I did, the “BUTs” never stopped. In fact, they became a recurring topic in our weekly 1:1 meetings.

That’s when my mentor stepped in and helped me understand a concept I had overlooked for much of my career.

A simple yet profound statement:
⭐ “You cannot win perception battles, Vignesh. It’s okay to disappoint others sometimes 😀” ⭐

It took me a week or two to even begin unraveling the meaning of these two lines.

🎯 Statement 1:
Imagine Novak Djokovic winning Wimbledon and walking back to his locker room, only to hear feedback like, “You won the championship, congrats, BUT it would have looked better if you had played serve-and-volley to win Wimbledon.”
Djokovic would probably be scratching his head. He has the title in his hands, yet someone still finds something to critique. A champion knows how seriously to take this kind of feedback. There’s no way to win perception battles like these—just move on.

🎯 Statement 2:
Often, we take ourselves out of the equation when we make decisions. We do things for others to avoid disappointing them. This applies both personally and professionally. We overwork, take on tasks that aren’t aligned with our strengths, or continue in roles that don’t bring out the best in us—all to avoid letting someone else down. My mentor’s point was clear: “Do things that don’t disappoint you.”

These two sentences have fundamentally reshaped how I view leadership and how I carry myself. It’s a tough change, but I took his advice seriously—and I’ve experienced a world of difference.